Welcome to an all-new regular feature here at Blogomatic3000. We’ve teamed up with the folks at Sky Movies HD to bring you a look at some of the films premiering on Sky Movies and Sky Box-Office this month.

COUPLES RETREAT

Stars: Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman, Jon Favreau, Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell, Faizon Love, Malin Akerman, Peter Serafinowicz | Written by Vince Vaughn & John Favreau | Directed by Peter Billingsley

Couples Retreat is a comedy about four couples who agree to take a holiday on a tropical-island ‘couples-therapy’  resort. Whilst one of the couples is there to work on their marriage, the others believe that participation in the resort’s therapy sessions is optional… only to discover it’s not!

Whilst I am a fan of Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau’s other comedy efforts, I wasn’t expecting much from Couples Retreat as I didn’t see the appeal in a married couple comedy – how wrong was I? The film turned out to be one of those rare films that actually had me doubled over with laughter. Despite all the big names in Couples Retreat, the real star of the film is Carlos Ponce who plays Salvadore the Yoga instructor. He completely steals the movie straight from under the nose of the rest of the cast – perhaps we’ll see a Salvadore movie in future? I know I’d pay to see one!

Despite some shortcomings – Faizon Love’s character and his girlfriend seem somewhat of an afterthought and the film wraps up its neat conclusion way too fast – Couples Retreat manages the difficult task of successfully balancing comedy and sentiment without coming across too sickly sweet and it’s well worth watching when it premieres on Sky Box Office 709 on Monday March 15th at 6.30am

WATCHMEN

Stars: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson | Written by David Hayter & Alex Tse | Directed by Zack Synder

Based on the classic graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, Watchmen is set in an alternate 1985 where superheroes really exist. The murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it.

As a comic book fan, I think Watchmen may be one of the greatest comic book adaptations to ever hit the screen, and I don’t say that lightly. The film features a brilliant performance from Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach – his character is part film-noir detective, part psychopath and Haley’s stunning  dramatic denouement really underpins the movie. With Watchmen, director Zack Synder has managed to successfully translate one of the greatest graphic novels of all time into a movie – something which many said could never be done – and whilst some liberties have been taken with the conclusion of the Watchmen tale (and rightly so – who other than comic book fans would ever see a movie featuring a giant squid as the deus ex machina?), director Synder has faithfully recreated entire panels and sequences from the graphic novel in a satisfying mix of dramatic story and over-the-top action that will please any comic fan.

Watchmen premieres on Sky Movies Premiere and Sky Movies Premiere HD on Friday March 12th at 10.00pm

Stars: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Shawnee Smith, Peter Outerbridge | Written by Marcus Dunstan & Patrick Melton | Directed by Kevin Greutert

Special Agent Strahm is dead, and Detective Hoffman has emerged as the unchallenged successor to Jigsaw’s legacy.  However, when the FBI draws closer to Hoffman, he is forced to set a game into motion, and Jigsaw’s grand scheme is finally understood… Saw VI is the latest in the long-running franchise and by the law of diminishing returns, this should be the least of the series right? Wrong! Saw VI surprises by easily being one of the best entries in the franchise despite the film’s poor box-office returns.

The first thing to say about Saw VI is that it up’s the gore quotient to sometimes ridiculous levels – offering skull crushings, burnings, disembowellings and a particularly nasty death by melting. The film is definitely one for gore-hounds. But unlike some of the other films in the series, Saw VI is not just about the gore. After a poor fifth entry in the franchise, writers Marcus Dunstan & Patrick Melton and former editor turned director Kevin Greutert return the series to its roots in a tale that wraps up the story, revealing Jigsaw’s true motives and also tying the film into today’s worries on healthcare and the recession. It’s this tie to real life worries that really raises Saw VI above the two prior films.

As with the rest of the franchise, the humans in the film are mere pawns in the story, used only as playthings for Jigsaw, but the cast do the best with what they have. Peter Outerbridge as films main protagonist offers a likeable anti-hero that, despite his slimy insurance salesman ways, you end up rooting for throughout the film. Costas Mandylor’s Detective Hoffman is as wooden as ever, whilst Betsy Russell as Mrs. Jigsaw doesn’t have much to do other than creep around looking both shifty and fragile.

When all’s said and done, Saw VI is the best entry in the franchise since part 2 way back in 2005, recalling all the greatest parts of the Saw series all the way back to the original, whilst moving the story forward for what is surely to be the final entry in the series, Saw VII 3D. Let’s just hope that director Kevin Greutert’s hard work on this film – restoring the franchise to it’s former glory – isn’t spoilt by a weak seventh final entry.

Saw VI is released on DVD and Blu-ray March 8th by Lionsgate. You can also pre-order the film now at Amazon (and by using the links provided you’ll help out the site too):

Stars: Jocelin Donahue, Tom Noonan, Mary Woronov, Greta Gerwig, AJ Bowen, Dee Wallace | Written and Directed by Ti West

(With The House of the Devil set to hit DVD and Blu-ray this month I thought I’d take a look at the DVD and see if the film was still as good as I remembered… Below is my original review from last year’s FrightFest).

Ti West, director of the audience dividing The Roost is back with an homage to the 80’s and exploitation cinema of old, The House of the Devil. Taking place in the 1980’s, college student Samantha Hughes (Donahue) takes a strange babysitting job that coincides with a full lunar eclipse. She slowly realizes her clients harbor a terrifying secret – they plan to use her in a satanic ritual. Based on the scaremongering satanist stories that proliferated America in the 1980’s The House of the Devil is a slow burning satan-worship movie in the style of Rosemary’s Baby and Race with the Devil. And by slow burning I really mean slow… like many of the films of the era it homages, The House of the Devil takes it time developing it’s characters and their motivations before unleashing the true horrors of the story.

Of course character development would mean nothing without interesting characters and actors, and the film has both in droves. You have to wonder where Jocelin Donahue has been hiding – her portrayal recalls Margot Kidder in the seminal Black Christmas and Ti West obviously knew the actress was something special, revealing at FrightFest that she was the only actress he considered for the role. Donahue’s Samantha is a determined college student – determined to move out of the room she shares at college and determined to do everything by her own rules. It’s this determination that leads her answer a “babysitter wanted” ad posted on the college campus noticeboard rather than accept financial help from the parents of her best friend Megan (a show stealing performance by Greta Gerwig), eventually leading her to the home of the Ulmans, played with aplomb by Mary Wornov and Tom Noonan. Noonan is especially creepy as father of the Ulman clan and anyone other than the determined Samantha would run a mile from his oh-so-persuasive patriarch after he warns her that the babysitting duties will not be entirely the norm.

Obviously when a film is called The House of the Devil and there’s only one house in the movie, we know that Samantha is in for a hellish time at the Ulman’s (literally) but the film is not about the journey but the destination. Ti West builds the suspense by keeping us on tenterhooks as to what will happen to Samantha – as an audience we know where the film is headed but not exactly will happen when the film gets there. West even toys with the audience, dragging the tension out further by having Samantha dance round the Ulman house to the strains of “One Thing Leads to Another” on her walkman in a scene guaranteed to have you sat on the edge of your seat waiting for something to happen. That’s not to say West doesn’t provide plenty of scares before the films conclusion, but he keeps them few and far between, allowing for plenty of time to rebuild the suspense between events and by the time the film reaches it’s inevitable conclusion you’re almost thankful that it has arrived.

The House of the Devil is a note-perfect recreation of 80’s cinema, without any of the self-referentialism or self-awareness that plagues many “retro” movies; it’s almost as if the film was lost to time before being unearthed and unleashed on an unsuspecting public. It’s easily the best satanic-themed movie since Race With the Devil in the 70’s and can already be considered a classic of the genre.

DVD Review:
Everything I wrote about The House of the Devil post-FrightFest screening still stands – the film is still one of the best satanic themed movies AND one of the best ‘retro’ movies in years. The DVD also includes a brilliant feature commentary with writer/director/editor Ti West and actress Jocelin Donahue, as well as three deleted scenes and a great behind the scenes featurette: “In The House of the Devil”.

When all’s said and done, The House of the Devil DVD is an unrelenting, unforgettable journey into the darkest realms of fear, and you should track down the film pronto – unless you’re too scared to! Pre-order The House of the Devil on DVD or Blu-ray at Amazon now:

The House of the Devil will be released on DVD and Blu-ray March 15th, courtesy of Metrodome.

From author Jacques Boyreau comes Portable Grindhouse: The Lost Art of the VHS Box. Released by Fantagraphics Books, the tome is a trip through the good ol’ days of VHS, looking back at what is very quickly looking like a lost art.

Back in the 80s I used to spend hours perusing the shelves of my local video shop in awe at the wonderous and lurid artwork that stood before me. Those were the days when you only had the box art and synopsis by which to judge the quality of a film, and more often than not you’d end up disappointed as the film was never as good as you imagined from seeing the cover. With Portable Grindhouse author Jacques Boyreau has captured lightning in a bottle once more, offering up that same feeling of wonderment – only this time its in the palm of your hand.

Each VHS tape takes up two pages – the one on the right features the cover artwork while the left features the back cover of the box with the obligatory synopsis. Some of the VHS boxes on display appear to be worn or faded from being left out in the shop window and there are more than a few with stickers denoting price or genre, both of which really help capture the feel of an old video store. Portable Grindhouse gathers together a wierd and varied collection of VHS covers from the US  and covers a wide variety of genres. Yes, the book does predominantly cover those films many would consider trash, b-movie, or grindhouse, but it also features some of the more esoteric videos that have been released over the years – including a Gary Coleman safety video and a VHS tape on how Norman Schwarzkopf won the Iraq war! Its an eclectic mix, and one that works…

If you’ve read The Art of the Nasty or Darkside’s Video Nasties you’ll know what to expect from Portable Grindhouse: The Lost Art of the VHS Box. Whilst this is a very American take on the subject matter there is still a lot to enjoy in the book – and its fun to look back and laugh at some of the more ridiculous artwork that accompanies some of the schlocky movies included in this tome. If you’re a movie fan you can do a lot worst than track down a copy of Portable Grindhouse: The Lost Art of the VHS Box, it’s available tobuy now at Amazon.

Stars: Ken Foree, Kristina Klebe, Emilio Roso, Miodrag Krstovic | Written and Directed by Milan Konjevic

In the aftermath of a catastrophic ecological disaster, a group of survivors, headed by Interpol Agents Reyes and Milius desperately attempt to transport a valuable human cargo of state prisoners across a hazardous war zone. Miles from help and civilization, the group find themselves besieged by a vast army of rampaging, blood-thirsty mutants who will stop at nothing to devour every morsel of human flesh in sight. As Reyes and Milius fight not only for their lives but also to protect their precious cargo, they realize their only hope is to join forces with the treacherous criminals in their care; men as deadly and terrifying as the ravenous monsters out for their blood.

Any film named …of the Dead raises huge expectations from horror fans, and most end up disappointing, and Apocalypse of the Dead is no different. Like many modern zombie movies, no expense has been spared when it comes to the zombie make-up and there are some great looking zombies in the film; however throughout the film I couldn’t help feeling that they should have maybe spent more money on a decent scriptwriter and less on the SFX.

But it’s not just the name of the movie that raised my expectations for Apocalypse of the Dead, it was also the addition of the legendary Ken Foree to the mostly Serbian cast. The star of George Romero’s original zombie smash Dawn of the Dead, Foree never ceases to disappoint no matter what film he’s in and he doesn’t disappoint here. In his role as Agent Reyes, he oozes personality, managing to convey the emotion of the predicament in even the smallest of scenes – it’s just a shame the makers of Apocalypse of the Dead insist on having him rehash phrases and actions from his other movies. As for the rest of the cast, the characterisation is non-existant, the dialogue is wooden and the delivery even worse!

If not for actor Ken Foree I doubt Apocalypse of the Dead would have ever made it to the DVD shelves. Yes there are bad movies, but then there is Apocalypse of the Dead. Think of the worst of the Italian zombie films cycle – and yes I mean those Italian zombie films that DON’T qualify as so bad their good – and you’ll have an idea of just how bad this film really is….

Voices of: William Baldwin, Mark Harmon, Chris Noth, Gina Torres, James Woods, Bruce Davison | Written by Dwayne McDuffie | Directed by Sam Liu & Lauren Montgomery.

In a parallel universe, the lone survivor of Earth’s Justice League – Lex Luthor – travels through other-world dimensions to join forces with Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash and the Martian Manhunter in a desperate attempt to save his world and its people. But the villainous Crime Syndicate, controlled by Ultraman, Owlman, and Super-woman, will stop at nothing to maintain their domination.

Marvel have always had the edge over DC when it comes to animated movies, and Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths isn’t going to change that. The film may be the best looking animated feature to come out of the DC stable, but it’s also one of the dullest – despite using the long-standing comic tradition of multiple universes, DC Animated have merely turned the story into a feature length slugfest and the entire affair feels like a wasted opportunity.

There could have been so much more to the story, as it is the film feels like it was written very much by the numbers – Lex Luthor travels to ‘our’ DC universe, meets Superman, Batman et al, tells them he’s from a parallel universe, everyone goes to the parallel universe, get into a fight with the bad guys (despite only really having Luthors word on just how bad they are), one bad guy becomes uber-megomaniacal, everyone teams up to stop him… There’s no back story on our villains, we’re just supposed to take them at face value as evil counterparts to our heroes, Even in the worst comic books we at least get some back story! I was left with loads of questions: How did the Crime Syndicate come into being? How did they take over the world? Why did they go bad when the JLA went good?

The concept of the DC multiverse is full of interesting stories ripe for the telling, so why did the animators at DC and Warner Bros. end up creating something so one-note? Perhaps Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths reflects the current state of the multiverse in DC Comics… a shambles!

Stars: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chaneac, David Hewlett and Brandon McGibbon | Written and Directed by Vincenzo Natali

From Vincenzo Natali, director of Cube, and visionary producer Guillermo del Toro, comes a new take on the Frankenstein legend updated with today’s modern scientific breakthroughs. Rockstar scientists Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley are making huge breakthroughs with genetic splicing, but when their project is shut down, the pair defy legal and ethical boundaries and forge ahead with a dangerous experiment to splice together human and animal DNA to create a whole new organism. The organism, named Dren, rapidly develops from a genetically deformed creature into a beautiful chimera. As Dren rapidly develops she forges a bond with both of her creators, a bond that eventually turns deadly…

Director Natali has become somewhat synonymous with sci-fi horror following his hit film Cube, and much like fellow Canadian director David Cronenberg his films are more than just one-dimensional affairs, offering intelligent takes on modern day themes – this time round Natali tackles genetics, parenting and societal pressures all wrapped up in a Frankenstein-like tale… In fact Splice could almost be seen as Natali’s version of a David Cronenberg ‘greatest hits’ package – the film recalls the strange sexuality of Rabid, the body horror of The Fly and the scary parent-child bond seen in The Brood.

The main leads, Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody, manage to pull off both arrogant scientist and doting parent, and during the films wild third act they even add levity to the proceedings – something that didn’t go unmissed when the film played at Glasgow FrightFest. But the real star of Splice is French actress Delphine Chaneac, as Dren she walks a fine line between monster and human, and manages to make her character both frightening and yet eerily attractive at the same time.

One of the big stand-outs of Splice is the superb special effects – it really felt like the first time I have seen CGI used so extensively to such high a standard since the original Jurassic Park. Seemlessly blending make-up effects, traditional movie monster prosthetics and CGI helps to make Dren look and feel real, and unlike some effects-heavy horrors there was no point during the film where the SFX/CGI took me out of the film, with such a small budget that’s no mean feat.

Splice does go off the rails towards the end of the movie with a weird, if somewhat laughable, love scene and an eventual traditional monster movie climax but neither detract from what is a brilliant take on an oft-told tale from a much under-rated director, proving yet again that Canada is where it’s at in terms of innovative storytelling…

Stars: Jonathan Mellor, Pablo Rosso, Ariel Casas, Alejandro Casaseca, Ferran Terraza | Written and Directed by Jaume Balaguero & Paco Plaza

[REC]2 continues where the original film left off, with a medical officer and SWAT team outfitted with video cameras and sent into the sealed off apartment to control the ’situation’. This time round the story not only follows the SWAT team, but also a rag-tag group of kids who sneak into the building for a look at just what’s going on… big mistake!

Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza return with the highly anticipated sequel to the well-recieved REC and what many are calling the Aliens to originals Alien, and you can see why – much like Alien was the more scary film in the franchise, so is REC. However [REC]2 takes the lead from Aliens and pumps up the action and nerve-jangling suspense; and that’s not the only parallel. In [REC]2 the ‘zombies’ (who aren’t actually zombies, but I won’t go into more detail for fear of spoiling the film), crawl the roofs and scurry through the airducts, hiding in the shadows and attacking in just the same way as the eponymous Aliens. Balaguero and Plaza have also added more to the story this time round, expanding on the true reason for the outbreak  with the addition of more religious themes and imagery, and hopefully this will be brought to a head in the third film.

The sequel builds on the the original’s camera POV, this time adding the SWAT teams helmet cams and moving the action into increasingly small and cramped spaces to create a more claustrophobic first person perspective on the terror that awaits, and with the apartment building now powerless and dark, events become obscured – which helps to build the tension of the situation even more. Sadly I thought some of the tension was lost by the inclusion of the teens towards the end of the movie – yes it was good to have some comic relief, but I found the kids to be more annoying than anything…

What we have in [REC]2 is a film that is less of a horror film and more of an action movie full of jump scares, freakish ‘monsters’ and scary noises. Whilst the sequel is fun, I think it lacks the charm, character development and pure terror of the original, it really is the Aliens of the REC franchise. Here’s hoping [REC]2 isn’t the Alien 3 of the series!

Stars: Bianca Maria D’Amato, Cassandra Forêt and Charlotte Eugène Guibeaud | Written and Directed by Hélène Cattet & Bruno Forzani

Where to begin with Amer? The film was described on the FrightFest website as an “immaculately executed and flawless valentine to the 70s thriller genre popularized by Dario Argento and Mario Bava. Recreating the motifs, clichés and visual codes from the vintage Italian [giallo genre]“, Amer is less a film and more of an experience – the film features almost no dialogue, with the majority of the story told through the actors performance, character interaction and cinematography. A true arthouse film in all senses of the word, the film is a story told in three acts: childhood, adolescence and adulthood. And what a story…

Amer takes what is essentially the very typically French theme of burgeoning female sexuality and tells the story through the use of Italian giallo stereotypes – from the first act, which follows our female protagonist as a child, which is draped in very Suspiria-esque wrappings to the finale which recalls the legendary ‘black-gloved killer’ of numerous Italian giallo. Also running throughout the film is the sense of being watched – the young Ana, terrified by the watchful eye of her grandmother; the adolescent Ana realising that she draws the attention of the opposite sex whilst out in town with her mother; and the adult Ana who fears the sexualized watchful eye of men (a sexualization which is shown in a stunning sequence in which a cab driver LITERALLY undresses Ana with his eyes).

There are some faults with the film – the theme of ‘the eye’ and being watched is somewhat hammered home with laboured close-up on characters eyes, and the middle section of the film featuring the adolescent Ana wandering around town slows down proceedings considerably, but those are minor faults compared to the film as a whole. With Amer, Hélène Cattet & Bruno Forzani have crafted a film that does more than just rehash giallo themes and stereotypes, it revitalises them. When long-standing Italian directors cannot re-create the spirit of the classic giallo that they created (yes I’m thinking Argento) it really says something about Cattet and Forzani’s passion and skill and I’d certainly love to see the pair attempt a true detective giallo tale…

Stars: Kip Pardue, Breckin Meyer, Scott Adkins, Vinessa Shaw | Written and Directed by Peter A. Dowling

Three New Yorkers out on a stag night hit on a couple of girls on the subway. When one gets too forceful he gets pepper-sprayed and in the ensuing confusion, they all accidentally get off at the wrong station – an abandoned stop that’s been closed since the 1970s. Stranded, they make their way down the subway tunnel to find an exit – and witness a clan of primitive subway dwellers brutally killing a train guard. Spotted, the party try everything to escape to the world above, all the while being hunted by whatever ‘they’ are…

Stag Night is the directorial debut of writer Peter A. Dowling, the writer behind 2005’s Jodie Foster flick Flightplan. If you’ve ever seen the classic Donald Pleasance movie Deathline, or Chris Smith’s more recent Creep, you’ll know what to expect from the film, which takes it’s inspiration from the 2000 documentary Dark Days – real life tale of New York’s underground dwelling communities.

The film features a pretty good cast – Breckin Meyer plays against type as the asshole brother ends up getting everyone into the horrific mess, Vinessa Shaw is a solid ‘final girl’ showing more promise here than she did in Corky Romano and The Hills Have Eyes; whilst Kip Pardue is pretty lifeless as the ‘hero’ of the film. Stuntman Scott Adkins rounds out the bachelor party, showing none of the promise he showed in Ninja – whether thats down to the role, or the fact Stag Night was filmed back in 2008 and Adkins’ acting has since improved…

Story-wise the film is a cliche ridden tale that offers up no suprises – its the standard ‘us vs them’ tale,with underground cannibals instead of backwoods hillbillies or scary monsters. However despite that Stag Night is still an enjoyable movie, with plenty of stand-out death scenes that will please horror fans everywhere. What won’t please though is the over abundance of shaky-cam throughout the film, during fight scenes it got confusing as to who was who. As part of the post film Q&A Dowling and his cinematographer explained that they used shaky-cam to hide the films low budget, but in all seriousness there was no need for so much movement in the camera – especially since Dowling stated they did have a steadicam on set which was only used once!

But despite some flaws, Stag Night is a solid debut from what looks to be a promising new director. Look out for it when it inevitably premieres on DVD…

Stars: Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Mia Wasikowska, Matt Lucas | Written by Tim Burton & Linda Woolverton | Directed by Tim Burton

Due to a clash with Glasgow FrightFest, we couldn’t attend the screening last Thursday of Alice in Wonderland, so we sent along our intrepid guest reviewer Ben Mortimer. Here are his thoughts:

There are moments in Burton’s Alice In Wonderland that hark back to some of the high points of Burton’s career. Little details and flourishes reminiscent of Sleepy Hollow, bizarre caricatures, as strange and idiosyncratic as any in Edward Scissorhands, and, in Alice Kingsley the strongest and most compelling female character Burton has created since BeetleJuice’s Lydia Deetz.

Unfortunately it also recalls some of Burton’s lowest moments. Many of the worst elements of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory appear, including the over reliance on CGI over practical effects, and a general feeling of Burton being torn between the need to make a film that can be shown to very young children, and his own, darker vision.

There is also the issue of Johnny Depp. Before Pirates of the Caribbean turned him into a megastar, Depp could turn his hand to just about any role asked of him. His incredible talent, combined with Burton’s vision allowed him to create characters that were truly distinct. Unfortunately in this instance his portrayal of The Mad Hatter feels like he’s simply playing Willy Wonka with a (marginally) less annoying accent.

The biggest problem with the film though, is the scale of the story that Burton, and screenwriter Linda Woolverton have created. By sending Alice on a quest to confront The Jabberwocky, they may have given her a clearly defined arc, but they have also given the story an ‘epic’ feel that simply doesn’t work. At its worst moments, this, combined with the poor quality of some of the animation, makes the film feel like a low-rent version of Lord of the Rings.

The sheer number of supporting characters also causes the film difficulty. Burton is at his best with a handful of well developed characters. Unfortunately here he has so many to juggle that most of them end up being one dimensional, and serve only to advance the plot. This is particularly true of the White Queen, played by a criminally underused Anne Hathaway, who simply potters around waiting for Alice to appear.

What saves the film, however, is the central performance by Mia Wasikowska as Alice. Utterly captivating, and a joy to watch, her performance is excellent, allowing the character to mature, both physically and emotionally throughout the film. Given the technical difficulty of acting against green screen, it is remarkable that the relatively inexperienced Wasikowska’s performance is so good. It would be a real surprise if this film doesn’t serves as a launch pad for an incredibly successful career.

Far from Burton’s best work, Alice In Wonderland is still an enjoyable film. It may not be a masterpiece, and it lacks any real emotional connection, but Wasikowska makes the film worth watching, and given the generally low standard of films this year, it’s certainly above average.

Stars: Kevin Zegers, Shawn Ashmore, Emma Bell | Written and Directed by Adam Green

A typical day on the ski slopes turns into a nightmare for three snowboarders – Dan (Zegers), his best friend Joe (Ashmore), and his girlfriend Parker (Bell) – stranded on the chairlift before their last run. Dangling high off the ground with no way down, how will they survive frostbite, hypothermia and other unexpected dangers?

Adam Green’s Frozen is the second three character film I’ve seen in the past three days (the other being Pontypool). Both have a similar sense of claustrophobia, even though Green’s film is set in the wide open mountains, and both share similar ‘independent horror’ sensibilities, though I doubt you’d see any heads of the big three studios greenlighting this tale – even though the film is very similar to the disaster movies of the 70s, with an against all odds attitude that underlined those films. I will say though, that being a three actor film allows for a lot more character development in Frozen than in the many Irwin Allen productions of the disaster movie hey-day.

Frozen is also very much a man vs. nature affair, tapping into very primal fears that as modern man we have forgotten – nature, the elements, man as the hunted, etc. There are no villains in this movie – unless you count the preying wolves that pop up to terrorise our heroes at various points during the movie – merely three characters stuck in what is essentially a ‘can happen’ situation, fighting to survive against mother nature and their own fears and failings, and overcoming their own prejudices (and at times hatred) in order to live to see another day.

If there is a fault with the film it’s in the dialogue. Green has obviously – well obvious if you know his friendship with director Joe Lynch – written conversations between the two male protagonists Dan and Joe (whose character even shares the same surname, Lynch) as if it was him and his friend kicking back and chatting – only instead they come across as arrogant assholes rather than best buds. Whether this was due to the script or the delivery from the two male leads we’ll never know. However, once our three leads are stranded up the mountainside all bets are off and all thoughts of the ropey dialogue heard earlier in the film go out the window – by actually having his actors in the precarious situation of really being up a mountain on a ski-lift, Green manages to elicit real intense emotion from his cast. There’s not many actors who would agree to sit in a ski-lift, up a mountain, in freezing conditions, for god knows how long, all for the sake of a movie – so hats off to Emma Bell, Kevin Zegers and Shawn Ashmore and I don’t want to say more for fear of spoiling the movie but Emma Bell in particular really stands out as one to watch – I challenge you not be impressed with how her character reacts to the situation…

This being a horror movie there’s bound to be gore right? Well yes, but not for gore’s sake. The effects in Frozen are used PERFECTLY, nothing is excessive and everything is truely believable – from the smallest case of frostbite to… I’m not saying (spoiler-tastic if I do) but Frozen is the first film to actually make me cringe through the use of effects in a long time.

If you read my review of Pontypool you’ll know I was impressed by what Canadian director Bruce McDonald did with his small cast, and with Frozen it seems Adam Green has answered right back – anything the Canadians can do, the Americans can do just as well.

Stars: Bill Moseley, Lin Shaye, Christa Campbell, Nivek Ogre, Katy Marie Johnson, Asa Hope | Written by Chris Kobin & Tim Sullivan | Directed by Tim Sullivan

Local authorities shut down the detour ensnaring unsuspecting Northerners into Pleasant Valley, so George W. Bushman and his gang of ghostly cannibal Southerners hit the road in search of fresh meat. Unfortunately for two beautiful heiresses and crew of their reality series Road Rascals, they’re about to cross paths with the cannibal ‘family’ and they won’t just be ratings winners… they’ll be lunch!

The FrightFest screening of 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams was proceeded by an introduction by director Tim Sullivan where he admitted that during the shooting of the first film there was a lot of interference from all parties involved and that the sequel had no such issues – the film is 100% Sullivan’s vision… And what a freakish, twisted vision it is! Completely politically incorrect, completely OTT, and completely batshit insane! But also completely brilliant!

2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams takes everything from the original and turns it up to 11… For one the gore is gorier, and at FrightFest we saw a completely uncut version of the film – there’s one death, the first in the film, which may be one of the more contentious kills when the film goes before the censors. As usual, the kills are the highlight of the film: with exploding heads, ripped off faces, a hanging, exploding eyeballs, electrocution and more – Sullivan and crew have really pushed the envelope in the gore department and found more inventive deaths, including one towards the end of the film featuring Scarlet Red and Val that I never expected in a million years.

Cast-wise the film is hit and miss. Bill Moseley takes over for Robert Englund and does a cracking job of making George W. Bushman his own, whilst Lin Shaye delights once more with yet another fearless (and hilarious) performance as Grannie – what that woman won’t do for her ‘art’ astounds me, she seemed as intent on pushing the envelope as much as director Sullivan. The rest of the supporting Southerner cast – including Christa Campbell and Nivek Ogre – do their thing as well as can be expected for two dimensional characters, with the ladies of the cast engaging in every mans fantasy in just about every scene, if they’re not topless, they’re getting all sapphic… Which was nice. One thing I can’t decide on is if the leads Katy Marie Johnson and Asa Hope, as the spoilt heiresses, are either really bad actresses or really good ones. It’s either a stroke of casting genius to hire two actresses as empty-headed as Hilton and Ritchie, or Johnson and Hope have REALLY studied their ‘inspiration’ closely to deliver what is a note-perfect interpretation of the world’s most famous reality stars.

Despite all the gore and grue, Field of Screams isn’t scary…  the film plays more like a Three Stooges slapstick comedy than a scary movie which may work against it in the long run – much like last August’s Zombie Women of Satan screening, the film has had a mixed reaction post screening with some just not enjoying the mix of uber-broad comedy and horror. I for one loved the “splatter-stick” as Sullivan called it. However I think the broad comedy aspect HAS to be there, as without it Field of Screams would just be an offensive mess – the film takes pot shots at every race, colour, creed, sexuality, and sexual preference (yes the sheep are back in this one). So be warned if you’re in any way easily offended I recommend you DON’T watch this film! For the rest of us, it’s actually refreshing to see something make it to the screen in such a politically incorrect fashion.

When’s all said and done 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams is yet another brilliant love-letter to Herschell Gordon Lewis’ original gore films of the 60’s and Sullivan has delivered on all counts, building on the original 2001 Maniacs to create what is essentially a horror comic brought to life on the screen. Gore fans will love it, those tired of political correctness will love it…  Even your mother will love it! (Actually she won’t).

2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams is released on DVD and Blu-ray in the UK on July 5th 2010.

Stars: Steven McHattie, Lisa Houle, Georgina Reilly | Written by Tony Burgess | Directed by Bruce McDonald

DJ Grant Mazzy thinks it’s going to be just another normal day when he starts work at the local radio station, how wrong could he be? The day begins like any other – but in between stories about the bad Canadian weather, lost cats and school bus cancellations comes reports of localized outbreaks of rioting and horrific violence. With no way to confirm the news, Mazzy, his producer and his assistant suspect the whole thing is a hoax. But when the stories escalate and their reporters in the field start to call in with terrified tales of horrible happenings in the town of Pontypool, they realize that something terrible is going on outside their studio walls. Trapped inside the station as chaos reigns in town, the trio must decide if they should stay on air and keep reporting the news in the hopes of a possible rescue, even though they begin to suspect that their broadcast may be contributing to the madness infecting Pontypool.

Pontypool is one of those rare films that seems to come out of nowhere and change the game for other films in its wake – this time, its the zombie genre. Whilst we’ve seen loads of zombie movies that show the visciousness of a zombie outbreak from the perspective of those involved, what we haven’t seen is the reactions of those trapped in a zombie outbreak who DON’T know what’s going on. The best way to describe Pontypool is if you think of John Carpenter’s The Fog – if that movie was from the perspective of radio DJ Stevie and she never left the station at Antonio Bay, that’s Pontypool and yes it is as good as that film, if not better! The film is just a really unique take on the zombie genre – yes the “monsters” in the film are zombies, but the zombie infection doesn’t spread in the typical manner: it’s completely intertwined with the films setting.

Pontypool is an incredibly claustrophobic film, with ALL of the movie taking place within the confines of the radio station, bar a brief intro scene with Mazzy ariving at the station. The film could have been an enormous flop if not for the brilliant acting of the three leads: McHattie, Houle and Reilly – the trio literally carry the entire film on their shoulders. If not for their skilled reactions to the descriptions and sounds from the outside world, Pontypool just wouldn’t work. In this day and age of remakes and reboots, Pontypool is one of the most original horror films to hit screens in years. With a long tradition of creating brilliant, innovative horror movies (think directors like Cronenberg or Bob Clark), trust the Canadians to bring originality back to cinema…

The mix of brilliant acting, original story and claustrophic direction makes the film a definite purchase, if you’re a horror fan, or just a fan of really good cinema, you NEED to see Pontypool.

Stars: Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Kristen Wiig, Juliette Lewis, Andrew Wilson, Alia Shawkat, Daniel Stern | Written by Shauna Cross | Directed by Drew Barrymore

Whip It, the first first feature film from actress turned director Drew Barrymore, stars Juno’s Ellen Page as Bliss, a teenage girl living an unhappy life in Texas. Her mother (Marcia Gay Harden) wants her ideal dream daughter – a pageant beauty queen – a role Bliss dutifully tries to fill; but Bliss is an alt-girl at heart and when she learns of a women’s roller derby league in a nearby city, she secretly heads off to a game with her best friend Pash (Arrested Development’s Alia Shawkat).

The sport instantly appeals to Bliss’ alt-girl leanings and despite being under age – a plot point that will come back to haunt her later on, like all good movies twists – she decides to try out for a team called the Hurl Scouts, a team filled with women who work as waitresses and nurses by day and battle for roller derby glory by night. After showing unmatched speed on the rink during trials, she joins the team alongside other skaters with names such as Maggie Mayhem (Kristen Wiig) and Smashly Simpson (Barrymore). As she becomes more and more involved with the derby, keeping her alternate life a secret from her parents becomes a more and more difficult.

Whip It is strange blend of sport movie and indie drama – think Mighty Ducks meets Juno – story wise, the film is full of clichés: teen protagonist finds purpose in a sport, joins an underdog team and eventually leads their team into the finals and despite not winning, everyone learns a valuable lesson. It’s something we’ve seen countless times before, but the alt-lifestyle leanings and the “girl power” attitude gives Whip It an edge over the sports movie competition. It also helps that the film has a great cast – Marcia Gay Harden beautifully balances the roles of the overbearing mother and confused parent, whilst Ellen Page tones down her performance from Juno to portray a more authentic alt-teen and even the cast of roller derby players, including Kristen Wiig as Bliss’ mentor Maggie and Juliette Lewis as skater Iron Maven are pretty well-rounded for supporting characters. Comedy is provided by Jimmy Fallon as the roller derby announcer and the THIRD Wilson brother (after Owen and Luke), Andrew as the Hurl Scout’s coach Razor.

Whip It is not the typical rom com that Barrymore has been seen in as an actress and if the film is anything to go by, Drew Barrymore’s career as director looks like it could be more interesting than her acting career, bring on her next movie I say.

***½ (3.5/5)

Whip It is out now on Region 1 DVD and Blu-ray at Amazon:

Stars: Marc Singer, Brain Thompson, Jason Connery, Daniel Bonjour | Directed by Mark Atkins

The Dark Knight Krill (Thompson) has summoned the Fire Dragon in a bid to become supreme ruler of this ancient world. As armies maraud through his town, young Arkadi (Bonjour) escapes the chaos and murder to the mountains bordering their country and the darkness beyond. With his king dead and the earth of his beloved world scorched and destroyed, Arkadi discovers his destiny is to join with the legendary Maxim and become ‘The Keeper’.

Together with Maxim (Singer) and his skilled warrior protégé, the beautiful Katya, this fellowship must find the missing stones of an ancient amulet. They are said to allow its owner to summon the great forces of the Dragon lords to battle and defeat Krill once and for all.

OK, let’s get this out of the way… This film comes from The Asylum, the low-budget ‘pioneers’ of DTV movies such as Transmorphers, Snake on a Train, Paranormal Entity and the epic Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Now if you’ve ever seen a film by The Asylum you’ll know how much they like to reference current Hollywood blockbusters – I say reference, but they tend to rip-off more well known movies and issue quick cash-ins straight to DVD. And sometimes that’s not necessarily a bad thing…

Now when I was sent the press release for Dragon Quest the first thing that struck me was that it was a sword and sorcery flick starring the king of sword and sorcery movies – Marc Singer, who starred in one of the best films of the genre – The Beastmaster. So of course being a HUGE fan of that film, I had to watch this. Would I be disappointed? Well, yes. But not for the reasons you may think.  Why was I disappointed?  Well I should have expected it from a film by The Asylum, but the three ‘big name’ actors on the DVD sleeve (Singer, Thompson and Connery) were only in the film for the shortest amount of time, in fact Jason Connery is only on screen for two minutes, and I mean that literally – the film’s real star is little known actor Daniel Bonjour who plays Arkadi.

The film itself is your typical low-budget fantasy movie – characters spend ages walking through quarries, over mountains and into forests whilst talking about their ‘quest’ and the occasional fight with enemies whose territory the heroes just happen to walk into. The fight scenes themselves vary from terrible to OK – actress Jennifer Dorogi, who plays the warrior Katya  in particular should really leave the fighting to someone else, for a warrior she’s the feablest fighter I’ve ever seen! But the film’s not all bad – well actually it is. Even the legend that is Marc Singer cannot save this film from the depths of the DVD bargain bins. There was a brief moment where Singer unsheathed his sword and swung it around himself as he used to do in The Beastmaster movies and in all seriousness, that was the highlight of the film for me – but does that all-too-brief reference to The Beastmaster make this film worth watching? Sadly not. Dragon Quest is just one of those films that you’ll flick over to on the Sci-Fi Channel one night when there’s nothing else on… Hey at least I watched the whole film, that has to mean something doesn’t it?

*(1/5)

Stars: Mark Hamill, Victoria Tennant, Vanessa Branch, and Graham McTavish | Supervising Director: Mike Disa

Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud and Treachery… the 9 Circles of Hell as made famous by Dante Alighieri in literary masterpiece, Dante’s Inferno. This adaptation however takes it inspiration from another source: the brand new videogame of the same name from Electronic Arts.

Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic is a true trip through Hell as our hero Dante braves the 9 circles of hell, battling the forces of evil, slaying demons and killing monsters, all to save his love Beatrice from the clutches of Hell’s master – Lucifer. The film, like Batham: Gotham Knight before it, comes from some of the best animation studios in the business to create unique visions of the horrific underworld, including such noted Asian animation studios as Production IG (Kill Bill), Dongwoo (Batman: Gotham Knight), Manglobe (Ergo Proxy, Samurai Champloo), JM Animation (Avatar: The Last Airbender) and more.

I saw Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic as part of this past weekends SFX Weekender. The film debuted to little fan fare in the Anime Cafe on the Friday night, and as the screening was hardly advertised I wasn’t expecting much. How wrong could I be.

Taking the game as it’s basis the film follows the same structure, with our hero Dante traversing the 9 circles of hell and fighting a boss at the end of each ‘level’. Whilst this seems like on large advert for the game, Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic is much more than that, it’s  a dark disturbing love story that features some beautiful, if incredibly gory, animation. When people say anime is not for kids, they really are talking about this film – blood is spilled, intestines spew forth, followed by nudity, violence and yet more blood! It’s not quite up to hentai tentacle monster levels of anime controversy, but by mixing religious imagery with copious amounts of violence, gore and nudity, this film is probably going to offend some viewers.

What works in the films favour is the use of different animation studios for each level of hell.The differing styles work to overcome what is essentially a one note plot – enter circle of hell, pass through, fight hellion – the varied character and creature designs make for fascinating viewing.  Each animation studio has its own unique style, changing the look of both our main character Dante, and the hellish creatures he meets on his journey, it’s this rapidly updating appearance that helps hold you attention. Thats not to say that the film struggles to hold the viewers attention – with a brief running time of 88 minutes, Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic almost feels too short..! In particular the final showdown with Lucifer seems a little rushed, but with everything that has come before it, it had a lot to live up too.

This film is one of the most exploitative films, let alone animations, I’ve seen in some time, and watching it actually makes for a refreshing change! If you’ve been missing the less politically correct movies of cinemas past, then Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic could be just what you’re looking for…

**** (4/5)

Stars: Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Emerson and more | Directed by Jack Bender

(The cast of Lost in a promotional photo that has been deemed ‘The Lost Supper’)

After two straight hours of Lost, I’m still confused – along with the rest of the Lost population. With enough twists and turns to give Mr. Shyamalan a headache, the premiere rose to the occasion under immense expectations. Without giving anything away to those who have yet to see the spectacle, I’ll just say the premiere was a classic episode of Lost despite the creators’ (J.J. Abrams and Jeffrey Lieber) warnings of a fairly noticeable departure from past seasons.

From the very beginning your thrown into mystery and divergent time lines (a Lost staple at this point) that gives some insight to those early moments of Oceanic Flight 815 and it’s seemingly doomed passengers, While also showing the aftermath of the Hydrogen bomb set off by Juliet Burke (portrayed by actress Elizabeth Mitchell) during the last seconds of season 5, which to Lost fans seems to have been an eternity ago. Never slowing down, the premiere keeps you enthralled from beginning to end, half answering some questions left unanswered in Season 5 while introducing even more disturbing questions left to be answered.

Even though it leaves more questions than answers the premiere was exciting, mysterious… and utterly undecipherable to the uninitiated. Bottom line, the premiere episode promises to leave you frustratingly yet gleefully confused until the next episode one very long week from now. Until then, Namaste.

*** (4/5)

As you may have read yesterday, with only four comics on the pull list this time out, I thought it was about time I caught up on my graphic novels. I’ve alread covered the first three on the list, now on to the last three…

The Pull List – 31/1/10
Captain America: Man With No Face
Dark Avengers Vol. 1 – Assemble
New Avengers Vol. 10 – Power
New Avengers Vol. 11 – Search for the Sorceror Supreme
Secret Warriors Vol. 1
Secret Warriors Vol. 2

Yesterday I reviewed the first three of six hardbacks, and as I said then: 6 hardbacks, 6 Marvel titles, 6 superb additions to any collection. First up today is New Avengers Vol. 11, in which the New Avengers help Dr. Strange track down the new owner of the moniker “Sorceror Supreme” – again, as with Vol. 10 the action never lets up, from the battle between The Hood and Dr. Strange, to the all-out war in New Orleans between Dr. Strange, the New Avengers, Damien Hellstrom and the dreaded Dormammu. The real highlight of Vol. 11 however is the de-masking of Spider-Man in front of the rest of the Avengers gang – turns out that Luke cage’s wife Jessica Jones used to go to high school with Peter Parker and had a huge crush on him! The reaction of Cage to the revelation is absolutely priceless, even  more so when Spidey talks about how if Cage and Iron Fist broke up then possibly… Billy Tan’s artwork is yet again one of the delights of the book, and the team up with Chris Bachalo only raises both artists game. The end of the book begins the move into the Siege storyline with Loki making her first move against Norman Osborn via a now Dormammu-less Hood, which leads us into New Avengers Vol. 12 – Powerloss, which is released March 24th…

Secret Warriors Vol. 1 follows Nick Fury, the now-powerless ex-chief of S.H.E.I.L.D., as he builds an all-new army of heroes (the Secret Warriors of the title) and regains control of his Howling Commandos – whilst battling the all-powerful Hydra, whose reach Fury learns, extends far beyond ANYONE would ever have thought. Marvel’s Secret Warriors is a strange beast, part superhero comic, part old-school war book, with a dash of new-wave comic design courtesy of scribe Jonathan Hickman (Nightly News). The book is actually a tough read – there’s so much going on, both action-wise and script-wise that it’s a lot to take in. But that’s not a bad thing, in an age where some comics drag stories out over multiple issues, the frenetic pacing of Secret Warriors is a refreshing change. The pacing is also perfect for the immediacy of the plot, Fury and his team(s) are against the clock in their fight against Hydra and that timing transfers perfectly to the page….

The next volume in the series, Secret Warriors Vol. 2 continues the convoluted spy vs. spy vs. supervillains tale that began in the first book, taking things up a notch, adding even more immediacy to the story, whilst at the same time adding even more plot threads into a tale which is now so complex that it threatens to go into the realms of an X-Files-like unanswered conspiracy story – it’s only thanks to some brilliant storytelling from Hickman that it remains followable. However where Secret Warriors will I end I have no clue. The overall plot has so many threads running throughout each book that there is no clear end in sight, which makes for interesting reading. Whether Secret Warriors can or will survive in Marvel’s ‘Heroic Age’ remains to be seen – a book as dark and foreboding as this probably has no place in a lighter hero-friendly age. Which is a damn shame… If it is cancelled, hopefully Hickman will be given another major Marvel title to weave his magic on…

With only four comics on the pull list this time out, I thought it was about time I caught up on my graphic novels. So without further ado here’s this fortnight’s graphic novel pull list:

The Pull List – 31/1/10
Captain America: Man With No Face
Dark Avengers Vol. 1 – Assemble
New Avengers Vol. 10 – Power
New Avengers Vol. 11 – Search for the Sorceror Supreme
Secret Warriors Vol. 1
Secret Warriors Vol. 2

6 hardbacks, 6 Marvel titles, 6 superb additions to any collection. Captain America: Man With No Face kicks of proceedings with a story that reaches back into Bucky Barnes’ history and the history of The Invaders, in a tale that sees Bucky resurrecting his Winter Soldier persona one more time in order to once and for all wipe the slate clean before truly picking up the Captain America mantel. Man With No Face proves just why Captain America is the best comic being produced today and why it won the coveted Eisner Award, writer Ed Brubaker can do no wrong when it comes to the character of Bucky Barnes and situations that he faces – every story is filled with not only the most action you’ll see in a comic, but also the most emotion, running the gamut from pathos to exhilaration within it’s 168 pages.

When Marvel announced that the Dark Avengers were going to be headed up by Norman Osborn and consist of a bunch of convicts and psychotics you knew that proceeding s would not go smoothly, and Dark Avengers Vol. 1 proves that point entirely. Brian Michael Bendis manages to do the impossible and create the most argumentative team of Avengers that still somehow manage to work together! From the very first page, the cracks in the Dark Avenger are clear on the page, and by the time the book ends you can tell that this new band of “heroes” won’t be around for long. What really begins in Dark Avengers Vol. 1 however is not the Dark Reign of Norman Osborn, but the possible beginning of the end for The Sentry. Osborn manages to both get Bob under his control, whilst at the same time unleashing the evil that lies within him – The Void. It will be very interesting to see how this pans out in future books.

New Avengers Vol. 10 picks up directly after the events of Secret Invasion, with the New Avengers regrouping to track down the now missing child of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones and battling Norman Osborn’s new lacky The Hood and his band of psychopathic terrorists. There’s no let up in this book, we go straight from the final scenes of Secret Invasion to Cage and co. hiting the streets to uncover information on the missing child, and just when you think the New Avengers are set for a respite, along comes The Hood and his crew to take them down on behalf of Norman Osborn! Like Captain America, New Avengers Vol. 10 is full of action and emotion, where neither lets up, it helps that writer Brain Michael Bendis really knows his characters inside out – a situation which shows in the pages of the book, from the snappy dialogue to the beats of the action. And the artwork as usual is glorious to look at. Vol. 11 is up next but that’s for another day.

To be continued tomorrow…

A couple of years ago, Seth MacFarlane, creator of Family Guy and the co-creator of American Dad, launched an all new YouTube channel called ‘SethComedy’ which, when launched, became the most watched YouTube channel, receiving over three million views in just two days.

Collected here on this all new DVD are 50 side-splitting animated comic shorts, including some from MacFarlane’s YouTube channel, but also many previously unseen skits featuring digs at every aspect of society – from pop culture to politics, sex to circumcision, via scat jokes and cat jokes. And this being DVD and not broadcast television there’s no limit on swearing, sex or vulgarity, so expect to see a mountaineer shit on a wedding, sex with a sheep, sex with  Optimus Prime, Fred Flintstone taking a dump, and Quentin Tarantino performing a circumcision with a Hatori Hanzo sword, Aids Patient Zero, oh and did I mention sex with a sheep?

The highlight of all 50 skits, for me, has to be “The Scotsman Who Can’t Watch a Film Without Shouting at the Screen,” where else could you hear someone shout at Bender during the pivotal moment in The Breakfast Club as he argues with detention teacher Vernon, or Marty McFly in Back to the Future as he climbs in the DeLorean? It’s funny because it’s true! Who hasn’t thought the same thing once or twice?

Each short in Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Comedy feels like a deleted scene from Family Guy (minus the Griffins obviously) so if you’re not a fan of the throwaway jokes in each episode of that show then perhaps this DVD is not for you. But if you like your humour with a liberal dose of filth and a hint of juvenility then Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Comedy is most definitely going to appeal. That’s not to say there aren’t some misfires in the animated shorts, but with a greater ratio of hit than miss, and with 50 shorts on the DVD, you won’t feel too short changed – despite the brief running time.

EXTRAS:
Red Carpet Featurette
Stills gallery

*** (3/5)

Stars: Columbus Short, Matt Dillon, Jean Reno, Laurence Fishburne, Skeet Ulrich, Milo Ventimiglia | Written by James V. Simpson | Directed by Nimrod Antal

A crew of officers at an armored transport security firm risk their lives when they embark on the ultimate heist….against their own company.  Armed with a seemingly fool-proof plan, the men plan on making off with a fortune with harm to none.  But when the newest member of their crew gets cold feet and unexpected witness interferes, the plan quickly unravels and all bets are off.

The story for Armored, the latest film from Vacancy director Nimrod Antal is a typical heist-gone-bad movie, however Antal manages to do the impossible and make a tried and tested story feel new and exciting, if a little grimy. Antal is helped by an excellent, if somewhat under used ensemble cast. Each member of the cast gives an excellent performance no matter how small their role in proceedings, with lead Columbus Short managing to stand his ground against a powerhouse piece of acting from Matt Dillon, and despite knowing how the story will play out thanks to a formulaic plot, it’s the actors that manage to capture and hold the viewers attention.

Short deserves particular recognition, for his first action lead role he manages to out act the rest of the cast- including acting giants Fishburne and Reno, although they’re not helped by the lack of screen time, almost becoming one dimensional stereotypes thanks to a rather filmsy script. Dillon too turns in one of the better performances of his career, walking the thin line between likeability and hatred – his character starts out trying to help Short (whose character is having financial woes) by including him in the deal, but when the plan goes awry he soon turns on his best friend. Thankfully Dillon makes the transition believeable, and towards then end of the film you can really see him starting to question money vs. friendship.

The main selling point of Armored is the way in which events play out in almost real-time once the heist occurs mid-way through the film. Director Antal combines this near real-time pace with the somewhat claustrophobic setting of an abandoned warehouse to maximise the suspense, before an all-too abrupt ending spoils proceedings. The idea of a get-rich-quick story is most apt in these recession-filled times and this film fits the bill perfectly, with some great acting overcoming an all-too familiar story, Armored is well worth 90 minutes of your time.

*** (3/5)

Still not convinced? Check out some clips from the film, courtesy of Sony Pictures UK:

Jennifer’s Body is writer Diablo Cody’s follow-up to the smash hit Juno, which was released way back in 2007. How Cody could ever top her debut script, which won an oscar for Best Original Screenplay was the subject of much deliberation before this film’s release – would this film be filled with Cody’s now-trademark witty banter and uber-hip lingo? Well yes, but Jennifer’s Body also has to contend with over-hyped actress Megan Fox in her first starring role and a director, Karyn Kusama, whose last film – Aeon Flux - was a 100% clunker at the box office. The mix of hip writer and hot actress was surely a sure-fire box-office winner right? Sadly not, but now the film has found it’s way on to DVD and Blu-ray it’s ripe for re-appraisal, and it seems upon second viewing Jennifer’s Body may become one of those so-called “guilty pleasures” for horror fans and b-movie lovers alike.

The film plays like a myriad of those rock-band horror films of the 80’s such as Rocktober Blood, Black Roses, Rock N’ Roll Nightmare and Trick or Treat, with Fox, as the titular Jennifer, attending a local gig by a cheesy emo band lead by singer Adam (The OC) Brody with her friend Needy (Seyfried). After a fire breaks out during the gig, Fox ditches her friend and runs off with the band. Little does she know that the band intend to sacrifice her to satan in return for a successful career. Sadly their plan goes awry when Jennifer lies about being a virgin, and instead of dying she becomes possessed by something inhuman… and hungry!

Jennifer’s Body follows the standard template for horror film teenagers: puberty=blood=sex=death, and whilst Cody may have injected the film with some clever language, which was done much better in Heathers – to which this film’s hip teens are VERY similar -  and tried to veer away from the stereotypical characters of the teens-in-peril horror movie, the film is still very much of it’s ilk. And that’s actually no bad thing. Despite Cody’s hipster take on teens, the film actually plays very much like a homage to the teen horrors of the 1980’s and for an 80’s aficionado as I am, it’s like mana from heaven.

What really suprises about Jennifer’s Body is Fox. Whilst she’s often decried by critics as vacuous and shallow, she is note-perfect as the film’s lusty femme fatale and delivers her lines with aplomb. She really looks to be relishing her role as the film’s villain and for once her vampy image matches the character perfectly! It’s weird to say this, but I doubt the film would work without her…

When all’s said and done, this movie is not a re-invention of the genre and Diablo Cody’s hip script really isn’t much to write home about, but there’s just something inherently likeable about the film. Perhaps it’s the retro feel, or perhaps it’s Megan Fox’s performance but Jennifer’s Body is an enjoyable teen horror romp that deserves to do well on DVD and Blu-ray.

***½ (3.5/5)

Stars: Matthew Morrison, Jayma Mays, Chris Colfer, Amber Riley, Kevin McHale, Jenna Ushkowitz, Dianna Agron, Cory Monteith, Lea Michele and Jane Lynch

EPISODE ONE – 9pm/E4 (11/1/10)
When the school’s Glee Club teacher is fired, optimistic secondary school teacher Will Schuester begs Prinicipal Figgins for the job as Glee teacher. Principal Figgins agrees but only if Will can come up with the $60 a month needed to fund the class, but the only students to sign up are the vocally talented socially outcasts.

EPISODE TWO – 10pm/E4 (11/1/10)
Mr Schuester decides that the Glee club should perform in school assembly in an attempt to recruit more members. The pupils, however, are more worried about singing dated disco song Freak Out than performing in front of their peers. Rachel takes the matter into her own hands and the club rehearse Push It complete with raunchy dance moves. Meanwhile Schuester’s wife Terri discovers that she’s having a phantom pregnancy but hides it from Will.

REVIEW
Glee, the latest hit series from the States, manages to successfully take plot strands and cliches from other recent hit movies and TV shows and create one of the most fun and emotionally uplifting series in recent memory. One part High School Musical, one part American Pie, one part John Hughes movie, Glee combines 80’s teen movie sensibilities with High School Musical aesthstetics, and manages to balance drama, comedy and musical in a way that truly harkens back to classic movies of the decade – think Breakfast Club style teen angst with a great mix of both new and classic pop songs.

Glee’s cast of relative unknowns make the most of both the script and the musical numbers – and there are some real gems in the cast – Jane Lynch’s acerbic gym teacher Sue Sylvester in particular. Of the kids it’s Lea Michele as the diva-like Rachel and Amber Riley as Mercedes, who shine and both of whom belt out the songs with aplomb. And it’s the songs that make the episodes – the inspired choice of Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ in the first episode really sums up what Glee is all about: lonely kids coming together to gamble on glee club bringing them an emotional connection with others…

And you’d do well to gamble on watching Glee when the third episode airs on E4 next Monday!

Stars: Vic Morrow, Christopher Connelly, Fred Williamson, Mark Gregory, Henry Silva, George Eastman | Written by Elisa Briganti, Tito Carpi, Enzo G. Castellari | Directed by Enzo G. Castellari

In the early 1980s Italian cinema was in full swing, producing ‘homages’ and blatant rip-offs of anything that was popular in the Hollywood cinema of the time. So when both The Warriors, Mad Max and Escape From New York hit it big it wasn’t long before Italy produced their own post-apocalyptic tale set in New York. In charge of bringing an Italian twist to the genre was producer Fabrizio De Angelis, who handed the directorial reigns to prolific director Enzo G. Castellari who had become known for producing great movies on low budgets, and so The Bronx Warriors Trilogy was born…

The Bronx Warriors (1982)
In the year 1990 the Bronx is officially declared a no man’s land. The authorities have given up all attempts to restore law and order leaving the area to be ruled by a gang known as the Riders. Into this wasteland comes Anne, a 17-year-old heiress to an arms business who, unable to contain her guilt over having to inherit the business, has run away. She soon finds herself under the protection of the Riders’ leader, Trash. But, determined to get Ann back, executives at the Manhattan Corporation have hired a ruthless, psychopathic mercenary to infiltrate the Bronx and turn the gang members against each other. An instant hit in Italy the film was very quickly followed by two sequels.

The New Barbarians (1982)
The year is 2019 and a nuclear war has reduced humanity to small groups of starving survivors. Among them is a ruthless gang calling themselves the Templars, who intend to purge the earth by exterminating what is left of the human race. The only hope for the survivors lies with a former Templar, known as Scorpion, and his band of allies who are prepared to fight the Templars in one final showdown.

Escape From the Bronx (1983)
The final film in the trilogy is set several years after the events of The Bronx Warriors, Trash, the former leader of the Riders gang is now a cynical loner, remaining in the Bronx and trading in stolen ammunition. The General Construction Corporation wishes to tear down the Bronx to turn it into “the city of the future”, but to do this they need to clear the current population from the area and have employed a private squad of “Disinfestors” to burn, shoot and gas those that will not leave willingly. While the bums, vagrants and elderly prove to be easy prey, the warrior gangs of the Bronx are not prepared to go quietly.

THE DISCS:
Each film has an authoritative and exhaustive fact track by Paul Alaoui, which tells you about filming locations, interesting titbits about the cast and crew and related films. Each film also has an introduction by Enzo G. Castellari (in the editing suite of his new film, Carribean Basterds), welcoming viewers to the release, and saying how great this trilogy is. The Bronx Warriors disc also contains a 20 minute interview with Castellari and editor Gianfranco Amicucci. Both The Bronx Warriors and Escape From the Bronx have undergone “Shameless re-build edits”, with brand new anamorphic widescreen prints that are the longest prints currently available.

The Bronx Warriors Trilogy have been long-regarded as cult-classics of the 80s, and its not hard to see why – filled with action, violence, gore and that special ’spaghetti’ twist, the three are examples of some of the best in Italian ‘homage cinema’ so much so that it’s not hard to spot their influence on later Hollywood movies – especially the third in the Max Max trilogy, Beyond Thunderdome. This 3 disc set from Shameless Screen Entertainment,complete with collectors tin, is one of the best presentations that any of Italy’s great schlock movies have recieved – this DVD boxset is a true successor to the early Anchor Bay tin release of Fulci’s The Beyond and looks set to become just as collectable.

EXTRAS:

The Bronx Warriors

• Remastered anamorphic widescreen presentation
• Warriors, Barbarians and Basterds – interview with Enzo G. Castellari
• Enzo G. Castellari introduction
• Shameless Fact Track by Paul Alaoui
• Original film trailers and alternate credits
• Collector’s Gallery from archive materials

Escape From The Bronx

• New, restored, anamorphic widescreen version
• Shameless rebuild edit
• Shameless Fact Track by Paul Alaoui
• Alternative film trailers and credits
• 20 Shameless trailers.

The New Barbarians

• Anamorphic widescreen presentation
• Director Enzo G. Castellari introduction
• Shameless Fact Track by Paul Alaoui
• International trailer
• The Argent Trailer Park – Nuns, Cowboys and Heroes.

*** (3/5)